With a temporary lull in the battle between BC and the rest of Canada (except Quebec, of course). Severely Normal Albertans can turn their attention to food problems in the First World.
It turns out that the Domino Pizza delivery “Live Pizza Tracker” doesn’t actually have GPS tracking so you can’t follow your pizza, turn by turn.
And there are complaints about milk. One First Worlder recently discovered that milk is excreted by squeezing a wobbly thingy on the underside of a cow. It seems a warning label is needed. Another First Worlder wants a label that warns if you put milk in your body it turns into urine.
Lady Ga Ga’s parents run a restaurant in New York … well when a culinary reviewer checked out the place he reported it was “the worst thing since herpes”.
Some miscreant toasted a New York bagel – a foodie faux pas….. If you want a toasted bagel you are instructed to “go to Texas”!!
Even eating contests can cause trouble! A gentleman joined a hot chili pepper eating contest but had to check in to the hospital with excruciating headaches after eating something called a Carolina Reaper. First came the dry heaves and neck pain, then the intense headaches. Who would have guessed?
Some First Worlders are enamoured by kitchen gadgets. She enthused “ What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?” But not everyone was happy because he found the slicer works from left to right but sadly all his bananas were curved the other way.
And speaking of gadgets – artificial intelligence researchers have managed to program a robot to assemble an IKEA chair… so, soon the robots will rise up and enslave the First World.