First World Trees and Balloons

We have discovered there are First World differences on the other side of the Rockies…

A company in Edmonton is making a tank top designed specifically to wear at Edmonton’s Accidental Beach. (The beach that magically appeared behind a berm needed for building a new bridge!) The company say that wearing the tank top appropriately will extend summer by one month in Edmonton. However; if you are suspicious of that claim you should buy the hoodie instead!

But….. In Vancouver the Parks Department things are way more serious! A grave new threat must be dealt with … Balloons … Yeah, these horrid contraptions “are a hazard to birds, sea turtles, dolphins and other wildlife that eat the deflated remains and suffer internal injuries.” And of course miserable little kids tie highly dangerous strings to their balloons which can ensnare a careless bird or sea turtle.  No word yet on the fate of Kites.

I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree. Joyce Kilmer 1913

In BC, massive forest fires have raged all summer threatening communities and businesses. But….. In the rest of Canada – First Worlders can worry about one tree at a time.

  • In Amherst Nova Scotia, some mean vandals destroyed an oak tree sapling planted in memory of World War I. According to extensive media coverage, first the vandals broke the tree and then pulled the sapling up by its roots. The Parks department quickly replanted the stalk but now fear it will not survive. The 86 year old guy who planted it is prepared to forgive the miscreants (obviously distraught Maple Leaf Hockey fans) if they attend the ceremony to plant its replacement.
  • Meanwhile… in Edmonton 100 people gathered to honour a Manitoba maple tree before it was cut down for safety reasons. The tree was planted 143 years ago by an early Metis resident named Garneau. The University of Alberta called a tree doctor and discovered it has a untreatable tree-type cancer. The tree doctor could not corroborate the descendants claim that Garneau’s spirit lived in the old tree. So a ceremony was held to say goodbye … regrettably the tree didn’t say goodbye back!
  • And speaking of Oaks …. in Oak Bluff Manitoba, Zazu the grey parrot ran (well… flew) away from home. Filled with angst, the owners cancelled their honeymoon in Italy to stay home and search for the bird. Among the bird’s various talents are imitating the sound of a vacuum and a microwave.

It is Municipal election season in Alberta

And in Newfoundland too apparently … Finn, a canine movie star and part-time cattle dog is running for Mayor of St Johns. He is particularly focused on potholes. You can check out his campaign video here.

Severely Normal Albertans are asked not to compare their mayoral choices with dogs or other animals such as bats or jackasses!