Numerous First World Problems Solved

It was a pretty good week for the First World for a change!

  • Somebody postulated the Kim Jung Un’s feisty behaviour may be because he been using steroids – this whole thing is just “roids rage”. 
  • But good news  – the rumours that Trump was using coke have been resolved. The little red button on his desk is to summons a refreshing diet cola.
  • New research from Exeter University concluded that drinking alcohol improved your memory. well not right after six beers….. but apparently over the long haul drinking has a beneficial effect on memory. Cheers!
  • And more good news –  Yoga has techniques  to help you avoid doing that nasty cultural appropriation thing. Step one: recognise that cultural appropriation stems from imperialism and or colonialism. Then you must recognize the event, activity or thought you had is actually someone else’s identity. Then through yoga get in touch with your space where you see the dark and the light that is within yo. That leads to a point where there is no culture. Then you won’t be tempted to glom onto somebody else’s culture.
  • Next year Big Ben won’t be ringing because it needs a maintenance overhaul. So a British schoolgirl offered to sound out the hourly bong in her own voice over BBC. Sounds like ploy to avoid gym class to me.
  • And speaking of maintenance. An ATM repairman got himself locked it that little cubicle behind an ATM machine. So he started passing notes thru the receipt slot to people using the machine. Eventually someone very gullible took his note seriously and alerted the authorities.
  • And more research. The huge problem of canine depression has been going on undetected. Warning signs are more itching and scratching behaviour,  less playfulness and decreased appetite. Sadly, the research didn’t cover therapies to overcome depression in Fido.
  • On a less happy note, a new term will soon hit the internet lexicon. ‘Benching’ is when you ‘friend’ somebody on social media and then come up with lame excuses to avoid actually meeting them in the flesh.