The Grinch is a First World Environmentalist

Most of us know that the First World Christmas is a great time for gift giving. But it is also a time of very high First World stress:

  • What about the risk of a paper cut from licking envelopes for Christmas cards?
  • And who hasn’t had a moment of guilt getting a card from someone you don’t plan to send one to?
  • Shopping brings stress – having to carry your winter coat while shopping in the mall!
  • And the blood pressure spike when you see something you really NEED but you can’t buy because you might be getting it for Christmas!
  • And on Christmas morning you discover “batteries not included”.Grinch1
  • And the challenge of eating the arc in a candy cane.
  • And that family moment; when you realise your parents don’t have a PVR! Oh no you have to watch in real time including commercials!

Regrettably this year we are confronted with a couple of new First World issues.

It’s those Christmas sweaters…. Yeah the ones with the tacky lights, reindeer and snowmen with croqueted hats and noses. Well the Grinch did some research, and found that a mammoth environmental problem has been created. It turns out one in four of these monstrosities will be thrown away after only one season. A tragedy for the environment! But it is a blessing for those of us who don’t have the urge to offend others Sweater 2with poor clothing choices.

The Grinch, aided by the Recycling Council of British Columbia, estimates a half a million tonnes of waste is generated annually from gift-wrapping and shopping bags alone.

And the wasted food…Oh My …after Christmas the garbage men find mountains of leftovers, baked goods and turkey! All this organic stuff goes to the landfill where it decomposes into methane gas. This gas when released into the atmosphere melts the polar ice caps, thereby drowning untold numbers of Santa’s elves.

Well, all except for Christmas fruitcake that has the half-life of about 75 years.

And sadly whilst out shopping, we buy coffee in those holiday themed cups that are hard to recycle. How insensitive is that!FRdkWUd

Now…. about all the wine you drink at Christmas. The British Medical Journal found time to turn its attention to wine glasses. Back in the 1700s wine glasses were only held 2 or 3 ounces (60 to 70 millilitres) Now the size of the glasses have grown to 9 and 12 ounces (260 – 350 millilitres) or more. And the Brits know who is to blame:

  • It’s the Americans who demanded bigger glasses.
  • The wine industry that likes us to have glasses that allow the wine to breathe.
  • But mostly they point out that back in the day only rich people drank wine, but now poor people are “swigging” not “sipping”!

The researchers said of Christmas, “ as we approach the culturally legitimized deviancy of festive drinking we suggest that size does matter: look at the wine glass in your hand.”

No word yet on their research about the impact of the size of a bong.