The Top 10 Severely Normal Albertan’s worst first world problems

  1. There is not enough snowfall this Christmas to warrant me starting up my snow blower. And if I did my neighbours would mock me!
  2. My remote doesn’t always turn on the cable box with the TV – so I have to get up and do it manually. Is that fair?
  3. I have heated seats and side view mirrors. But not heated steering wheel! Why would Honda do this to me?
  4. Every time I stop at the Seven Eleven some guy is always in front of me buying a newspaper. Why can’t he get news from the Internet like a normal person?
  5. My gas station removed the lever that keeps the pump running hands free. Seriously? Now I have to hold the nozzle trigger?
  6. Why can’t I buy a ripe banana? Every banana lately is too green. Now I have to let them ripen on the counter for a week
  7. My back up camera is covered with snow but it is too cold to get out and clean it off
  8. Apple intentionally slowed down my IPhone and I didn’t even notice! So now I am worried this is just a ploy to make me want an IPhone X. 
  9. Loblaw’s was price fixing bread and are now offering a $25 gift card as compensation. Now I don’t know if I should donate the card to the food bank or join a class action suit.
  10. The toilet paper roll is on backwards again!MERRY CHRISTMAS